Addiction is when you are doing something repeatedly that you know is harmful, you want to stop, but it keeps happening. This can include alcohol, food, drugs, porn, sex, self-harm, or ANYTHING that “sort of works.”
By sort of works, I mean that it gives you enough of a desirable feeling (or lack of feeling anything) that you keep doing it, but it doesn’t solve the issue.
You have to do it again and again (thus “sort of” works). It also causes some kind of problem in your life. Addiction brings feelings like shame and guilt, which lead to using your addiction to change your feelings.
Addiction
You are STRONGER than your addiction.
I’m here to help you TAP INTO THAT STRENGTH to become someone you are PROUD of!
I will absolutely never shame a client for their addiction, including when they have engaged in the behavior between sessions. People with addictions usually carry their own shame, and my job is to help them replace shame with understanding, forgiveness and self-compassion. This flows into a state of pride, which is definitely something we can help you feel with a combination of therapy and lifestyle or behavioral changes.
To resolve addiction issues, lets look at how an addiction forms. Typically, the addiction starts out as something that feels good or provides relief from stress, boredom, or some other unwanted feeling.
Addictions take hold for one of two main reasons.
The first is trying to change how you feel. Therapy will include figuring out what need the addiction is trying to meet and finding a healthy way to meet that need. We can find ways to feel alive and free that add to your life instead of tearing it apart.
The other category is wanting to get away from something that is tormenting you inside. This is about wanting to not feel anything, or to mask the pain and seem like you are okay when you aren’t. For these cases therapy includes deeper work to resolve the issue that is leading to you wanting to escape from yourself and your life. From there, we will likely also need to come up with healthy habits to replace the old ones.
We will not be trading one addiction for another. Remember, addiction means it causes issues somewhere in your life. Healthy habits are things that you do a lot of, but improve your life when balanced properly. Without balance, healthy habits can form into addiction. We’ll work on how to balance it out.
We won’t be using “white knuckle” approaches. That’s when you only focus on not using, often playing this tug of war with shame and temptation. That can’t go on forever. The person will either give in to the addiction or be on edge. That’s not what we are going for. We want to leave the addiction behind and fill that space with what you really want to fill it with!
If you are ready to address whatever your addiction is, then therapy will start with figuring out what need the addiction is trying to meet. We then come up with healthier ways to meet that need or heal the wound inside. Add a well-balanced life, coping skills, and a mindset that protects you from unnecessarily feeling overwhelmed and that addiction will be a thing of the past.